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Simply put: A relationship with a 7 chemistry and a 10 compatibility is a happy marriage.

A relationship with a 10 chemistry and a 3 compatibility is going to make you miserable.

You need to have some spark to start – and that spark usually grows over time after you come to love the guy.

So those are two reasons – lack of a basic personal and physical chemistry – that you should break up with a perfectly nice person. Relevant story: I was with my wife for nearly 2 years when we got married. I’d survived happily for 36 years without her; I would have been able to put things back together in due time.

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Chemistry allows us to sweep under the rug the fact that he’s a selfish asshole or that she’s a crazy bitch…and later justify this behavior and fight to stay in broken relationships that make us unhappy.

This is why I have long advocated putting compatibility up on the same pedestal as chemistry, and perhaps elevate it even higher.

You think my advice is telling you to keep him when you don’t want to keep him. You need to have a personal chemistry with your partner. You need to feel like you can relax around him and be your best self.

If you’re merely tolerating him, rather than enjoying him, you’re wasting both his time and your time. Similarly, if there’s no physical chemistry – meaning, anything less than a 5 or a 6 in that department – cut him loose. You shouldn’t force yourself into believing that he’s cute because he’s nice.




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I hate to admit it (especially as the CEO and founder of a dating company), but I hardly have time for dating.