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I have been wondering what I want in terms of participation: If we're still together in December, will I be happier if he hangs out with my family on December 25 — or will it be less stressful for both of us if we simply agree to do the holidays apart?With all this in mind, I decided to give you some tips on how to make the holidays less romantically stressful. If you find yourself unattached in November, rejoice!Or think about agreeing to donate to worthy organizations in lieu of a gift exchange. Think "compromise" rather than "sacrifice." Are you and your new boyfriend talking about how to split up the holidays?Does he want you to spend the holidays with his family members, while you want him to spend them with yours?

You don't want a new guy to see you behaving childishly or peevishly.

Office parties can be stressful and awkward for even the most graceful employees — and adding a new beau to the mix will just increase the pressure on you.

Plus, a bunch of people standing around talking shop while getting drunk and doing karaoke is no outsider's idea of fun. Think twice about casually inviting him to any family holiday party.

When I first mentioned that I was going to be talking about tips to help daters survive the holidays, a bunch of readers said, "Avoid dating till January!

" The holidays stress us out — there's so much to do, shopping sucks, it's cold, and any existing family tensions are exacerbated — so trying to get a new relationship started is the last thing you want to add to your to-do list, especially because there are so many holiday minefields that could blow the fragile little romance to smithereens. Don't feel compelled to bring some new guy to your office party.

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